Your household in PAM is the people you share an account with. But plenty of the people who run your week aren't in it, like a co-parent in another house, grandparents who do Thursday pickups, a nanny who needs to know about the dentist appointment.
Village Connect links your PAM account to theirs. Both families keep their own account, their own calendar, and their own privacy. What crosses over is only what you choose.
This article covers what a connection does, how to invite someone, how to choose how much you share, exactly what the other family can and can't see, and how to disconnect.
📝 Note: Village is currently in beta, so you'll see a Beta tag next to it in the app. It's fully usable, and we're actively improving it based on what families tell us.
What a connection actually does
Once you and another family are connected, you can each tag the other in events and tasks. A tagged item appears in both calendars, labelled so everyone knows where it came from. For example, "Created by you and shared with Julia".
Everything else stays private. Your connection never sees your calendar, only the individual items you've tagged them in.
You can also share your kids' profiles over a connection, so the other family can see and create events for them. More on that below.
Good to know:
A connection is between two families. You can have as many as you need, one with your co-parent, one with each set of grandparents, one with your nanny.
Both sides keep full control. Either of you can end the connection at any time.
Nobody joins your household. Your connection can't see your household members, add people, or change your settings.
Who this is for
Co-parents in separate homes who need one shared view of the kids' week
Grandparents who help with pickups, sleepovers and school holidays
Nannies, sitters and au pairs who need the schedule but not your whole life
Family friends you swap school runs and playdates with
How to invite someone
Open the PAM app and go to Settings.
Tap Village.
Tap Invite someone to your village.
Enter their name, this is just the label you'll recognise them by, like "Mark" or "Nana". They never see it, and it doesn't have to match their real profile name.
Adjust their initials for the avatar if you'd like, or leave what PAM suggests.
Choose a relationship: co-parent, grandparent, nanny/sitter or family friend.
If you want to share your kids over this connection, choose them under Choose members to connect with. This step is optional.
Pick a sharing style, see below if you're not sure. You can change it later.
Tap Share connection link and send it however suits, via text, WhatsApp, email or email.
They tap the link, and PAM walks them through accepting. You'll get a notification when they do.
💡 The link is an invitation, not an account. If they don't have PAM yet, the link takes them through signing up first, and shows them who invited them and what they'll be sharing before they commit to anything.
Accepting an invite someone sent you
Tap the link they sent you.
If you don't have PAM yet, you'll be taken through creating your account first. Your invitation waits for you.
PAM shows you who's inviting you, what sharing style they've chosen, and what that means for you.
Tap Connect with [name].
That's it. You'll see a confirmation, and you can start tagging each other straight away.
Choosing how much you share
Every connection has a sharing style, and it's the main thing that decides how much crosses over.
Tag-based sharing only
Nothing is shared unless you tag the other person in it. You each choose, item by item, what the other family sees.
Best for a nanny, a family friend, or a co-parenting arrangement where you'd rather keep the two calendars separate and only coordinate on specific things.
Automatically share all items
Everything involving the shared members is shared, without you having to think about it. If you've shared your kids over the connection, every event and task involving them appears in both calendars automatically, even the ones the other family had nothing to do with.
You can still tag each other on top of that, for the things that aren't about the kids.
Best for co-parents who want one genuinely shared view of the kids' week, with nothing falling through the gap.
Who chooses the style
The person who sent the invite owns the sharing style. Only they can change it.
If someone invited you, you'll be told which style they've chosen before you accept, and what it means in practice. If they change it later, PAM tells you once, for example "Mark updated your sharing style", so a change in what's visible never happens silently.
If you want the style changed on a connection someone else started, just ask them. It's a two-tap change on their end.
Changing the style on a connection you started
Open Settings → Village.
Tap the connection.
Choose Automatically share kid events or Tag-based sharing only.
Tap Save changes.
PAM confirms what's about to change before you save, and the other family is told about the change once.
Sharing your kids over a connection
When you set up a connection you can optionally choose members of your household to share, usually the kids.
Sharing a child over a connection means the other family can:
See events for that child
Create events and tasks for that child, which then appear in your calendar too
Tag that child in things they're organising
Combined with the sharing style, that gives you:
Automatic style, kids shared. Every event involving those kids is shared both ways, plus anything you tag each other in.
Tag-based style, kids shared. You can both tag those kids and each other, but only tagged items are shared.
Either style, no kids shared. Only what you tag each other in.
📝 Note: Sharing a child doesn't give the other family access to your household or your account. They see events for that child, and nothing else about your household.
To change who you share
Open Settings → Village.
Tap the connection.
Under Choose who they can see events for, add or remove members.
Tap Save changes.
It applies right away, and the other family sees the change.
What the other family can see
They can see:
Events and tasks you've tagged them in
Events for any household members you've explicitly shared with them
On the automatic style, every event and task involving those shared members
They cannot see:
Any other event or task in your calendar
Your household members, other than the ones you've shared
Your other Village connections
Anything you've marked as private (see How to create private events and tasks in PAM)
Your connected Google, Outlook or Apple calendars, beyond items you've tagged them in
Spotting shared items in your calendar
Village items are labelled so you always know where they came from and who else can see them. Open any event or task and you'll see a line like:
"Created by you and shared with Julia", you made it, and it's visible to Julia's household
"Created by Mark and shared with you and Ben", Mark's household made it, and both you and Ben can see it
Names show as each household knows them. You always read yourself as "you".
💡 If an item doesn't have that line, it isn't shared with anyone outside your household.
Finding and managing your connections
Everything lives in Settings → Village. You'll see:
Connections: the families you're actively connected with
Pending connections: invites you've sent that haven't been accepted, and invites waiting on your answer
For a pending invite you sent, you can Resend invite if it got lost, or Cancel invite if you've changed your mind. For a pending invite you've received, you can Accept connection or Decline.
Tap any active connection to change who you share, change the sharing style (if you sent the invite), or disconnect. Changes apply right away, and the other family is told about anything that affects what they can see.
Disconnecting
Either side can end a connection at any time.
Open Settings → Village.
Tap the connection.
Scroll down and tap Disconnect.
Confirm.
Here's what happens to the shared items:
Events and tasks you created stay in your calendar. They're yours.
Events and tasks they created are no longer available to you.
Neither of you can tag the other any more.
The other family is told the connection has ended, so it never just quietly stops working for them.
💡 If you disconnect by accident, just send a fresh invite. Nothing is permanently lost on your side.
Which plans include Village
Village is part of PAM Household, and is included during your free trial. On the free plan you'll see Village with a padlock next to it.
Village is paid for by whoever starts the connection. So if you invite your child's grandparents, your plan covers that connection, they don't need a paid plan to accept it and use it.
That has one consequence. If the plan of the person who started a connection lapses, that connection switches off for both households until they re-subscribe. If that's you, you'll see the connection marked Inactive with an Upgrade to reconnect option. Nothing is deleted while it's inactive and it picks back up where it left off.
If someone sends you an invite while their own plan is lapsed, PAM tells you upfront: "this invitation isn't active yet. It'll work as soon as they upgrade."
Frequently asked questions
Do they need their own PAM account?
Yes, but they don't need a paid one if you're the one who invited them. The invite link takes them through signing up if they're new.
Can they see my whole calendar?
No. They only see the specific events and tasks you tag them in, plus events for any kids you've explicitly chosen to share. Nothing else from your calendar is visible.
Can they see my other Village connections?
No. Each connection is separate and private. Your co-parent can't see that you're also connected to your nanny.
Can we have different sharing styles in each direction?
No. A connection has one style, and it applies to both households. If you need something more granular, tag-based sharing plus tagging each other deliberately gives you the most control.
If I switch from automatic to tag-based, do previously shared events disappear?
Items the other family already created stay theirs, and items you created stay yours. Going forward, only tagged items are shared.
Can I share a child with more than one family?
Yes. Each connection is separate, so you could share the same child with your co-parent on the automatic style and with grandparents on tag-based.
Can they edit an event I shared with them?
Items that come from another household are view-only, in the same way events from a connected Google or Outlook calendar are. Whoever created an item is the one who can change it.
Do the kids need PAM accounts to be shared?
No. Kids are usually tag-only profiles in your household with no login of their own, and they can still be shared over a connection. If you'd like them to get reminders on their own phone, see Get PAM reminders on WhatsApp.
Can my household members manage my connections?
They can see the connections, but only the person who set one up can edit, cancel or disconnect it.
How many families can I connect with?
As many as you need. There's no limit.
What's the difference between this and adding someone to my household?
Household members share your account and see your whole shared calendar. A Village connection is a separate family with their own account, who only sees what you tag them in. Use household for the people you live with, and Village for everyone else. See How to add members to your PAM household.
What's the difference between this and sharing an event for RSVPs?
Event sharing is for one-off invitations to anyone, and doesn't need them to have PAM. Village is an ongoing two-way link with a family you coordinate with regularly. See Share events externally to collect RSVPs.
Can I change the name I gave them?
Yes, open the connection in Settings → Village and edit it. It's only ever a label for your own benefit.
They accepted but I can't tag them.
Check the connection isn't marked Inactive under Settings → Village. If it is, the plan of whoever started the connection needs renewing.